i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You may now shotgun with the bride
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
