Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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