Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
