Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
