come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
