What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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