I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
