Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
