Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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