Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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