thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
