i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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