Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
