you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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