he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
