i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
