so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
