Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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