I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
