i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
