Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
