Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
