we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
