I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
