i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
