It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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