Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
