once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
