so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
