I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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