So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
