I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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