I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
