i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
