Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
