ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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