I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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