All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
