This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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