The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
