thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
