I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
