some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
only you would photoshop your dick
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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