there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
