You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
