i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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