Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
