She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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