didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
