I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
