Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
